POWER OF CONSISTENCY IN RELATIONSHIPS

POWER OF CONSISTENCY IN RELATIONSHIPS

CHAPTER 1: WHAT IS CONSISTENCY?

Consistency refers to being reliable and steadfast in behaviour, performance, or principles over time. It means maintaining a consistent approach, attitude, or action in various situations while avoiding contradictions or fluctuations. Consistency often implies a sense of reliability, stability, and predictability, where one's words, actions, and beliefs align and remain steady over time without significant changes or deviations. It is an essential trait in personal character.

In various endeavors, consistency fosters trust, credibility, and effectiveness, making it a crucial factor in achieving success. Every human being desires a consistent friend.

When discussing consistency, it's essential to include its author – God. He is a consistent father with proven reliability. He declared, "I am unchanging, the same yesterday, today, and forever." He is the ever-present help that is not moved by human inconsistency. God is the definition of consistency.

Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever (Hebrews 13:8). He is a consistent friend, savior, and helper. He is much more than we can describe since He is all things to us.

God wants to take care of your past, present, and future. He is in charge of your yesterday (past), today (present), and tomorrow (future).

CHAPTER 2: Weathering the Storms

Relationships can be familial or within a group, and they require commitment. Whether you are present or absent, your commitment and consistency must remain. They are the backbone of every relationship.

However, many relationships are like the weather – they can be sunny and calm one day and stormy and tumultuous the next. Some people respond to the weather of their relationship as it comes, changing according to their emotions. They may say things like "Bring it hot, and you will meet me hot!" or "An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth," intending to burn anyone. So they set the bed of their relationship/marriage on fire with the intention to burn anyone that wants to be burnt. This approach is far from God's method and intention.

Weathering the Storms

Every relationship goes through challenges and strains, and it's during these rough patches that consistency becomes crucial. Consistency in relationships is the ability to maintain a steady and unwavering approach towards your partner, even in the face of difficulties. It's about being dependable, reliable, and committed to your relationship, regardless of the storms that may come your way.

Inconsistent partners may react impulsively and negatively to difficulties, creating further problems and making it more challenging to weather the storm. In contrast, consistent partners work together to find solutions and overcome the obstacles in their relationship. Consistency in a relationship is like an anchor that holds a ship in place during a storm. It provides stability, security, and reassurance that, no matter what happens, you and your partner are in it together.

One of the keys to consistency in a relationship is communication. It's essential to talk openly and honestly with your partner about your feelings, needs, and expectations. This communication should not only occur during the good times but also during the rough patches. In fact, it's even more important during these times because it allows you and your partner to work together to find solutions and maintain your connection.

Another crucial factor in consistency is follow-through. If you make a promise to your partner, it's vital to keep it. Whether it's something significant like moving to a new city together or something small like taking out the trash, following through on your commitments builds trust and strengthens your relationship. It shows your partner that you are reliable and that you care about their needs and desires.

Consistency also involves being present for your partner, both physically and emotionally. This means making time for each other, even when life gets busy or stressful. It's easy to get caught up in work, family, and other obligations, but it's essential to prioritise your relationship and make it a priority. Whether it's a date night, a weekend getaway, or just an evening at home, spending quality time with your partner strengthens your connection and reinforces your commitment to each other.

It's also important to be consistent in how you treat your partner. This means showing them love, respect, and kindness consistently, even when things are tough. It's easy to lash out or withdraw when you're feeling stressed or overwhelmed, but it's crucial to treat your partner with compassion and understanding, even when you're not feeling your best. Consistent kindness and respect build trust and deepen your emotional connection, making it easier to weather the storms that may come your way.

Finally, consistency involves a willingness to work on yourself and your relationship continually. This means being open to feedback from your partner, taking responsibility for your actions, and making changes when necessary. It also means being willing to work through conflicts and disagreements in a constructive and respectful way, rather than letting them fester and grow.

CHAPTER 3: Understanding Relationship Storms

Relationship storms can come in various forms – conflicts, disagreements, external stressors, and unexpected life events. These storms can be daunting, and they can test your patience, understanding, and commitment. However, it's important to understand that relationship storms are normal and can even provide opportunities for growth and strengthening the bond with your partner.

The first step towards navigating relationship storms is to recognise and acknowledge them. It's crucial to understand that storms are not a sign of failure or weakness in the relationship. Instead, they are a natural part of the ups and downs that come with any relationship. It's essential to identify the specific cause of the storm and assess the impact it's having on your relationship. By doing so, you can develop a plan to deal with it effectively.

We have all heard of relationships that have been affected by unbelievable factors. For instance, a couple that got married in a big church in Lagos in 2001 only lasted together for one month before parting ways. The husband loved his wife so much that he packed all his years of savings together before their wedding. Everything he had was worth 15 million Naira. He called his wife-to-be who was jobless at the time and they went to the market together in preparation for the wedding, and he spent half of the money on the wife's family's clothing, and the rest on their big wedding and furniture, as agreed by both parties.

However, after the wedding, the husband lost his job, and things became tough for them within one month. One day, the husband got home from searching for jobs, and the wife was gone. She packed everything in the house and left, claiming that the man couldn't take care of her. The man was broken and almost lost it but for the Lord's intervention. He gave his time, resources, and heart to an inconsistent partner, and it turned out badly.

External stressors such as financial difficulties, health issues, and job loss can also cause relationship storms. These stressors can create tension, anxiety, and uncertainty in the relationship. It's essential to support each other during these challenging times, to remain united, and to work together to find solutions. By doing so, you can emerge stronger and more resilient as a couple.

Unexpected life events such as the loss of a loved one, illness, or a major life change can also cause relationship storms. These events can be overwhelming, and it's important to be there for each other during these times. Allow yourself and your partner to grieve and process the emotions that come with such events. Lean on each other for support, and communicate your feelings openly and honestly. By doing so, you can strengthen your bond and emerge from the storm with a deeper appreciation for each other.

Instead of allowing the storms to strain and break your relationship, it's crucial to navigate through them with consistency. By recognising and acknowledging the storms, you can better prepare yourself to deal with them effectively. Remember, consistency in relationships is the ability to maintain a steady and unwavering approach towards your partner, even in the face of difficulties. It's about being dependable, reliable, and committed to your relationship, regardless of the storms that may come your way.

CHAPTER 4: Building Consistency in Your Relationship

Consistency in relationships requires effort from both parties. It requires intentionality and commitment. It's about showing up for your partner every day, not just when things are going well.

God's relationship with us reveals the importance of consistency. He is always there for us, no matter what. David in the Bible is an example of a man who enjoyed consistent love from God among other biblical characters.

God was always there for David, and He assured him of His love and commitment. He called David the apple of His eyes and promised not to take His mercy away from him like He did to Saul. His assurance of love and commitment cannot be overemphasised. He is ever proud to call Himself the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. Even when Abraham is not here on earth, God's faithfulness to him remains unwavering.

Jesus said, "I will answer Zacchaeus because he is one of the sons of Abraham" (Luke 19:1-10). This scripture illustrates God's unwavering love!

In Isaiah 63:7-9, the Bible says, “I will mention the lovingkindnesses of the Lord, and the praises of the Lord, according to all that the Lord hath bestowed on us, and the great goodness toward the house of Israel, which he hath bestowed on them according to his mercies, and according to the multitude of his lovingkindnesses. [8] For he said, Surely they are my people, children that will not lie: so he was their Saviour. [9] In all their affliction he was afflicted, and the angel of his presence saved them: in his love and in his pity he redeemed them; and he bare them, and carried them all the days of old.

God looked at the Israelites through the picture of Abraham, who remained faithful, unwavering, and steadfast in his relationship with God. He did not allow the inconsistency of his situation or the people around him to affect him. So God kept taking care of his children and everyone related to Abraham physically and spiritually. He made him a blessing indeed.

When you are in a sworn relationship, you go through what your partner is going through, whether good or bad. This is God's kind of relationship with us. We are in it together.

God said, "Children that will not lie to me…”, so He became their Saviour. Be sure to be consistent in your relationship with God, your spouse, your spiritual heads, and your relationships generally.

Exploring Practical Strategies for Building Consistency in Your Relationship

Building consistency in your relationship takes intentional effort from both parties. Here are some practical strategies that can help:

Effective Communication and Active Listening: Communication is the foundation of any healthy relationship. Practice active listening, ask questions, and give your views without imposing on or infringing on the right of your partner.

Empathy: Empathy is a key ingredient for building consistency in your relationship. It involves being a

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